


The one hidden inside his walls

by Stoic_piece_of_garbage



Series: Dulce et decorum est, pro nihil mori [2]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Henry Needs A Hug, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, NOTP, One sad dad and one heartless motherfucker, Period-Typical Homophobia, THIS IS IN NO WAY ROMANTIC, William is a dramatic bitch on the inside, and some better friends, emotional angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoic_piece_of_garbage/pseuds/Stoic_piece_of_garbage
Summary: Henry just needed someone to comfort him after a terrible heartbreak. Unfortunately, he only has William. And William is fully aware of that. Suffice to say, this won't end well.
Relationships: Henry Emily & Original Character(s), William Afton | Dave Miller & Henry Emily, William Afton | Dave Miller/Henry Emily
Series: Dulce et decorum est, pro nihil mori [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177154
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

"So, as I was saying…… You know this guy, Stevenson, he came to me today, and said, that he had some arrie…arierer-pense-re-e… doubts I think?"  
It was late in the evening. Henry wasn't sure which hour it was exactly, but frankly, he didn't care. The living room he sat in was a complete mess, full of half-opened cardboard boxes, and mechanical parts scattered on every flat surface, not counting the floor. On every other occasion, he would probably declutter the space enough to make it appear 'artistically disorganized" rather than "just-goddamn-messy". But this wasn't a normal situation. This was an emergency. The type of emergency that doesn't call for a fire squadron, but instead requires a whole load of cheap alcohol and at least one (1) sober friend, to tell you that everything's going to be alright, and then help you go back to your bed because you start to talk about your plans of breaking into the nearest bank, to show those sons of bitches that you, etc. etc.  
On this occasion said role was fulfilled by Henry's business partner and (probably) dearest friend- William Afton. He wasn't however, participating in it only because of his sympathy for Henry. For William, it was exactly those kinds of occasions that in retrospect could have proven to be most useful. He tended to view most, if not all social interactions as nothing more than a pragmatic transaction of sentiments. If he said what the other person wanted to hear, he would get what he needed. So, he thought for a moment and finally said with a perfect French pronunciation:  
"Arrière-pensé?"  
"Yes, that thing" Henry replied, not even bothering to repeat this word. But despite his general dismissal of this minor detail, William couldn't help but feel once again superior to his friend. Of course, he would never admit to that, but those moments when he knew something Henry didn't, were the reason he even bothered talking with him sometimes. It might have been petty and childish, but it didn't matter to him. He was addicted to praise, and Henry was unwittingly both his dealer and the stash itself.  
Feeling just a little bit more confident, he moved one of the boxes with feet closer to him and put his stretched legs on it nonchalantly.  
"So he had some of that about the spring-lock costume" Henry continued "And of course, in any other situation I would probably talk this through with him, but I was on a verge of a mental- breakdown right there and this moron started lecturing me, as if he was some kind of sanitary inspector, instead of just like, some undergraduate, whose biggest problem in life is the fact that he wasn't accepted on to Drama Academy, for SOME reason, you know. You have this kid and he thinks that if he learns a couple of words in French, he's suddenly a second Chevalier or something. God, I hate him, I think I will fire him next month, or maybe you'll do it, you know those things better than me… shit, I've lost my train of thought again. What was I talking about?"

"That Stevenson complained about the costume, and that you had some kind of a breakdown, which, for the record, you still haven't explained to me, but it probably was the reason that made you feel like…this – William vaguely gestured at the mess and the empty bottles on the coffee table.  
" Right, the costumes" once again he ignored William's slight dabs at him. It started to annoy him. He's been rambling on and on about some completely trivial things, trying to dance around the main issue.  
_Just get to the point already instead of whining all the time, for God's sake_  
He thought about saying it out loud. It was blunt and harsh, and just a little aggressive. But he couldn't just say those kinds of things to him without repercussions. Not yet, anyway. So instead he stayed silent.  
“So, he said to me "Pardon me, Mr. Emily, but I am afraid that your innovative technical solutions may pose a threat to the lives and safety of your employees".  
“Well, he has a point. Those things can, in a split second, release pressure of several industrial pneumatic actuators, if not handled properly.”  
Of course, he had a point, nobody with at least one working brain cell would want to walk around in this literal death trap. The spring-lock costumes were a terrible idea, really. They always got filthy on the inside, if they were used the way they were meant to be used. But at least Henry never got suspicious of them, somehow.  
When he dies someday it will probably be thanks to his naivete.  
William imagined a couple of possible scenarios, but once again decided to keep them to himself.  
“I know, I know, in the end, we created them ourselves. God, I can't even recall whose brilliant idea it was in the first place…”  
The silence that followed was short but full of meaning. Or maybe it was just awkward, it's hard to tell. Anyway, it didn't take William much time to say with utmost honesty and earnestness  
“I am sure it was yours.”  
“Right, only I can come up with such shitty ideas” William couldn't tell if Henry said it sarcastically or not but decided to pretend to be in on a joke just in case, so he just smiled awkwardly.  
“ Anyway, so I am standing there and thinking "What am I supposed to say?". I mean, I know he's right, I'm not crazy after all, but we had spent so much money on those dumb costumes, so I couldn't just say "You know what, you're right, this is a terrible idea, please forgive me for being a moron who thought it would work"”  
Suddenly Henry seemed to have noticed something in the distance. He started to turn his head in every direction as if he tried to spot an insect flying in the air. He rarely seemed focused on what he was saying, his mind always wandering free, trying to find something new to think about. It fascinated William to a certain extent.  
“It's kinda imperative, you know, almost like defending your honor, despite the ridiculousness of it all. And even if something happens, you'll be there to fix it, right? I can't stand this legal nonsense, honestly, but you always arrange it so nicely that somehow the main sanitary inspector still hasn't charged us for violating safety regulations. I don't know what I would do without you Will, I really don't.”  
Henry apparently realized that the mysterious floating object he had been trying to locate was just a dirty stain on his glasses. Without giving it a second thought, he took them off and tried to wipe them clean with the material of his flannel.  
“So, what did you say to him?” William stared at Henry, who slowly realized that his glasses were completely ruined, thanks to his shirt being covered in various oil stains. He paused for a moment, either from embarrassment or just trying to process his actions. William gently took the glasses from him and placed them neatly on the coffee table. Henry just proceeded as if nothing happened.  
“You know, mostly things like "All of the costumes were rigorously tested, and all safety procedures concerning proper use had been approved by an appropriate committee" and that "it should be no problem for someone who knows what he's doing" and so on, and so on.”  
_What is the best way to remove the oil from glass? Maybe window cleaner?_  
“But then he tried to outwit me and asked that, if everything was so safe and everything, then why the saferooms were specifically designed to be out of reach of the cameras.“  
“ And then?”  
“And then I…” - Henry crossed his arms and took a deep breath “I told him that if he felt overworked he could have taken a paid leave for the rest of the day, and then I went to the staff room and cried for about 15 minutes.”  
William tried no to look annoyed, but apparently, it didn't work. Henry looked away from him, but his stare stopped at the table full of empty bottles. His face went blank as if he had just realized something terrible.  
“I know, how pathetic” he forced himself to laugh, even though his voice was starting to crack. “I can't even stand my ground when talking with my subordinates. Guess she was right…”  
_She? For the love of God, don't tell me that all this nonsense was only because of his…_  
“I mean, what kind of spineless coward do you have to be to do something like this? If the whole world started to burn right now, I wouldn't even try to scream for help, fearing that I might anger the arsonist. Of course, I shouldn't have become a father, I… “ he ran his hand through his hair “… I couldn't even save my own daughter  
There was a slight change in William’s expression, but Henry was in no state to notice such a minor detail.  
He was supposed to already be over this. The less the topic of Charlie's "disappearance" came up the better. He can't learn the truth, not before he becomes more…  
_Dependent_  
Agreeable. That's the word.  
“It wasn't your fault” William placed his hand on Henry's shoulder.  
“Then whose fault it was?” Henry turned his head to William, his eyes suddenly lighting up with some kind of unspecified anger. William froze for a moment. He couldn’t tell whether his partner’s question was rhetorical or not. It felt almost like an accusation. But he couldn’t know it, could he?  
There’s a terribly high chance, that behind the wall of his self-loathing, guilt and grief, stands a perfectly reasonable man, who knows that someone is trying to deceive him in some way. But Henry would never listen to this voice. Maybe he preferred to just drown in his own hate so he wouldn’t have to confront the real source of his misery? Or maybe he just liked feeling sorry for himself.  
_How full of himself does the man have to be to think that somehow all of the wrongdoings happening around him must have something to do with him, or even better – be within his control? What is mourning if not a selfish expression on one’s presumed self-importance and belief about the validity of his feelings?_  
William wasn’t selfish and he never felt sorry for himself. He was the enlightenment to Henry’s dark sentimentalism, a glimmer of reason in this crazy world. Only he could stand above it all, create his own destiny instead of moping and whining like this… this…  
Henry couldn’t hear the sounds of gunshots, destroyed barricades, and other quasi-revolutionary scenes playing out for some reason in William’s head. All he could see was a pair of cold grey eyes, completely frozen in the same mysterious expression he knew so well. He always seemed so calm and collected, unlike him.  
So they sat in silence for a while. One could say what good friends don’t have to speak in order to understand each other. But what does “good” and “friends” mean anyway? Are two walls good friends just because they never talk to each other? Because that was all it was to it.  
Two strangers sitting in different rooms trying to guess how many fingers the other one is holding.  
So whose fault it was?  
Henry finally had enough of this.  
“Anyway, why even bother with trying to find some kind of excuse. It’s pointless. Seems like Caroline was right all along, she’ll be better off without me…”  
_For the love of-_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the number of chapters because it turned out to be longer than expected. Anyway, enjoy the angst, and don't worry about the canon. When it comes to human FNAF characters it's always making shit up anyway since eg. William's personality is different in almost every piece of media, so who cares ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

„You are getting a divorce!? Why haven’t you said it sooner?”  
Of course, he was getting a divorce. _It’s always because of a divorce._ But why would William expect anything more?  
„Well, I guess I must have forgotten” Henry’s tone suddenly changed, his voice was flat and unnatural. „ But anyway, is there anything left in your bottle?” Henry was never good at lying in general, so his attempt to pretend like he had remained unaffected sounded more like a child responding to their parents question about their math test with saying „Yeah, I got an F, what’s for dinner?” than an actual grown-man talking about his marital status. That would almost comical if William wasn’t already fed up with this nonsense.  
„So…are you gonna drink or will you just stare like that at me the whole time? C’mon Will, you’re starting to make me feel guilty already, have mercy on me.”  
_Mercy? How does he even dare…_  
„Henry…” William tried to sound as calm as he could „You don’t have to pretend. I get that you must be devastated, I swear I do”  
Of course, he didn’t get it, but what else could he say? There’s only a fine line between being perceived as a quiet, but in the end well-meaning person and as an outright emotionless sociopath.  
He had to be careful at all times, always alert, thinking, and planning ahead, and for what? So other people could treat him as their personal „Agony Aunt”? He hated it but he had to stay focused.

„Devasted? Who said anything about being devastated? I’ve just fucked up one more thing in my life, nothing new in that department. I guess I should just stop having hope for anything altogether. My life is one big joke without a punchline, but that’s how I designed it to be. All of this is pathetic, sad, and pathetic, just like me. I hate all of this, I really despise it, but what can you do?”  
_All of this?_  
„ And I feel so dumb for even feeling sad because I KNOW she’s in the right! Caroline doesn’t deserve any of this garbage, and expecting her to want to raise our children in this shit is so…”  
Henry stopped. His eyes froze in place and his lower lip began to tremble slightly. Combining that with his progressing intoxication, there was no way he could express his thought in any comprehensive manner.  
„God… I killed her. If it weren’t for me Charlie would…They should’ve killed me, I-I shouldn’t even be here. I loved her more than anything I really did, I swear! I shouldn’t be here, I don’t deserve to be here, I…” Henry started shaking and hid his face in his hands.  
Did he actually mean it? _Or was it just the ethanol finally kicking in?_  
Henry certainly was, to a certain extent, melancholic and oversensitive. But his sadness was always a more of a…private affair. Something he preferred not to show to other people. He would rather spend all his time in his own head rather than talk openly with other people. But William wasn’t like that. Henry trusted him, it was obvious, so why would he feel the need to keep those feelings hidden from him? If Henry didn’t trust him and didn’t feel like their relationship was important enough for him, that would mean that he could do something very…unreasonable.  
It made sense. If someone’s sense of self-worth is only dependant on some arbitrary things like being a good husband or father, the moment those roles are no longer fulfilled are gone, the person becomes completely worthless. But Henry wasn’t worthless, at least not in a practical sense.  
William NEEDED Henry. And Henry COULDN’T just betray him like that. He shouldn’t think like this is even an option for him in the first place. William had to do something that would make his friend realize this simple fact. But how?  
Suddenly William felt a firm grip on his shoulder. Henry buried his face in the soft material of his button-up shirt and William could already feel the wet stain forming from his tears. It caught him off-guard. Henry wasn’t usually this…affectionate with anybody, even his wife. William wasn’t sure what to do, so he just put his hand on Henry’s back. It made Henry a little calmer. Henry was sobbing quietly into William’s shoulder, while he started almost subconsciously stroking his back gently, as one does to a child who got hurt. William couldn’t help but think whether this kind of physical intimacy was appropriate for two married men.  
_Unless…_  
„Henry, you mustn't say such things. None of this was your fault. Anyone could end up in a…situation like that. It doesn’t make you a bad father, or husband, or anyone really. It’s just sad that Caroline didn’t care about enough to understand this.”  
„No, she was patient with me. Maybe even too patient” Henry finally raised his head a little, his eyes still red. „She is similar to you in that regard. Has too much faith in people”.  
„Henry, do you think I am an idiot?”  
„What?” Henry chuckled awkwardly „Of course I don’t! You are one of the most intelligent, most brilliant men I’ve ever known. Why would you-„  
„Then tell me, why do you believe that I would be so idiotic to think so highly of you if it wasn’t supported by anything?”  
„Will, I’m grateful that you think that, but it doesn’t have anything to do with your intelligence. I just want you to be happy and not waste time on someone who doesn’t deserve that kindness and cannot give you anything in return”  
„Henry… I care about you.” Besides it’s not like wasting time even matters at this point „Please, just believe me this time”  
„I want to believe you but… I think I’ve lied to you  
_Lied..._  
„I’ve tricked everyone into believing in me, but the jig is up, you don’t have to waste your life for my sake. Just…forget all of this ever happened” Henry’s eyes were cloudy, like one of those foggy English nights William knew so well from his childhood. This was the point, after which anything could happen. He couldn’t stop him from taking his life away unless he did something so unexpected that the sheer confusion would be stronger than his pain.  
Then came this idea. This absurd, crazy idea. It could be the end of him, but he didn’t have time. Without Henry, it wouldn’t even matter anyway. William could no longer think clearly, he had to do anything, so he placed his hands on Henry’s shoulders and looked deep into his eyes.  
„You keep saying that you’ve somehow lied to everybody” William’s voice was low, soft and just a little bit agitated. Henry looked at him like in a trance, lost and confused but at the same time curious and hopeful. „But If I told you that you are the one who’s been lied to all this time.”  
„ Will, what are you even talking about- „  
And suddenly, everything stopped. Henry couldn’t breathe for a moment, his eyes opened wide but he couldn’t say anything. He could feel the gentle hands that held his face in place, and the smell of expensive cologne and the sound of empty bottles falling from armrests of his couch, but none of this made any sense. Before he could even realize what had happened it was already over. Before him sat William, breathing heavily with an expression of some unspecified hopeful terror.  
He really hoped that this would work and was terrified about what would happen if it didn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry slowly brought his hand to his lips, as if trying to check if he hadn’t just fallen asleep and had a strange dream. But the feeling lingered, so he wasn’t dreaming, and still he had no idea what to do. He looked around in silence, but without his glasses, everything was just blurred and surreal. Finally, he decided the break this strange spell.  
„So, you… have you been drinking when I wasn’t looking or what? Will, please, I-I don’t get it” Henry skewed his head and quickly blinked several times „Is this some kind of a bet? I know those jerks from the board sometimes come up with bizarre ideas, but you never…”  
„No, it’s nothing like that, rather…well…Damn it, I am just so sorry, Henry.” William „I don’t even know what I was thinking. You are my friend, and it was not only a violation of general decency but even worse- taking advantage of your state, „  
„So you…like, meant it?” Henry tried to look William straight in the eye but the other man averted his gaze in an almost shameful matter, so out of character for him, that it looked grotesque and uncanny. It was more than enough to make Henry even more confused.  
„But you aren’t…you never…Shit, my head hurts.” Henry rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to form a cohesive sentence. He knew what he had to ask, but the words that came to his mind felt like insults, reeking of the smell of the streets of New York, hurting like bricks being frantically thrown at the police, and the shouts getting louder and louder until-  
Until he remembered that he was still sitting in his living room. Nothing had happened.  
He was safe.  
„William, I’m so sorry to ask, but are you-„  
„Yes”  
There was no pause, no hesitation in his voice as if he had tried to stop Henry from saying that dreaded word. Henry ran his hand through his hair, tugging it painfully. So it really was it.  
Henry never told this to anyone, even his own wife, but from his early childhood, he always feared the very concept of realizing he would be anything other than „normal” in terms of sexual preferences. Whether it was his traditionalistic upbringing or what he would hear time and time again during sermons is anyone’s guess. The bottom line is, Henry knew very early on that he would never fully fulfill what society expected him to be, considering his reclusiveness and general discomfort around other people, so adding „sexual perversion” to this list would put him even closer to the margin.  
But despite his prayers, there were times when he would feel certain…things about his fellow men.  
There was a Mormon boy who would stop by his house a little too often, but Henry didn’t mind because he just liked seeing him in that clean, tailored suit and with a perfectly pearly-white smile. But it wasn’t anything weird, of course.  
Or another time, when he was in 8th grade and had won the first prize in some algebra contest. Henry then was approached by his class president who congratulated him, shook his hand firmly, and embraced him in a friendly manner. Every time he thought about it he felt a little funny and maybe even embarrassed. Again, nothing huge.  
And then, of course, was a certain young, British business major, who would always accompany him in his weird projects and discuss new ideas with him for hours on end, and the way he would sometimes look at him, with those mysterious silver eyes, and say a kind compliment that would make him happier than anything and-  
But none of that mattered. He got married. William also got married. Everything was normal, and because of that, he was more than eager to push any indication of unorthodox romantic attraction into the darkest corner of his mind. But Henry no longer had a wife! But William also had a wife... still, it didn't matter up to this point. The realization of so many weird things at once made Henry's head spin. He felt confused so he decided to treat it like any other problem he would encounter in his job: by breaking it into smaller, manageable problems.  
„Why haven’t you told me sooner?”  
„I asked you the exact same question no less than fifteen minutes ago, Henry.” William crossed his arms in a defensive manner. „How was I supposed to tell you something like that? It’s not like I just woke up one day and decided to start to fancy other fellas.  
Except he actually did.  
„It was…confusing. Bloody confusing. I had hoped it would go away, that I could keep it under wrappers with enough self-discipline, and it even worked, believe me, it did! And then…all of it came back in an instant. It seems no matter how hard I try, there’s no way to keep a disease like that contained within one’s mind. It floods your better judgment, leaving behind only sadness and misery…” William paused mid-sentence in an almost exaggerated manner „Forgive me, I shouldn’t be rambling about this. I wouldn’t want to bother you any longer than I already did”  
„No, please, don’t go!” I- Henry took a deep breath –I need some time to process all of this”  
William sat once again on the couch, legs closed, hands clasped together on his lap, a movement so calculated and precise, that it would probably make Henry chuckle if the situation wasn’t so bizarre. That whole scene had a weird, almost theatrical air to it. William remained still as if he was waiting for his next cue, while Henry only then began to realize that he hadn’t even had a chance to get a look at the script. Maybe it was just something gay people tended to do? Who would know? Henry could only improvise, hoping that the resolution to this act would come organically, despite his lack of skills.  
„So…You said that something made you realize you were – he coughed awkwardly- queer. What was that?”  
„I met you” – he couldn’t even look him in the eyes. It was too much. Henry slightly opened his lips, trying to articulate the overwhelming confusion and feelings of betrayal. Before he even knew, there was something completely new sensation spreading across his veins. Raw, unrefined anger. The type of helplessness that makes people curse the sky above their heads.   
„Yeah, of course. Seems like the only thing I’m actually good for is destroying the lives of people around me. Please forgive me Lord for having the audacity to exist!.  
„Henry, I know you don’t trust me, you have to believe me. I love you.” – his voice was too soft, annoyingly so.  
„Are you fucking serious? Ok, I’ve had enough. What do you want from me, Will? Because this isn’t you. You have a wife, for God’s sake! How do you feel lying to her all the time? Or who knows, maybe you’re lying right now just to see me hit the rock bottom once again? And I thought I could trust you. You are supposed to be my friend. –Henry started pacing angrily across the living room, almost shouting - You- you can’t just do shit like this out of nowhere! Nobody forces you to do it, right? Can’t you just!… stop… being like that…?  
Henry couldn’t even decide to whom this question was addressed. He was out of breath, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles went white. He looked at William who was sitting perfectly still, keeping his head slightly lowered to avoid eye-contact. When he finally decided to look up, his eyes were completely glassy like a window during a terrible storm, lightings splitting the dark sky of unspoken melancholy.  
„Of course I can. I could stop being…anything, really. And maybe that’s the answer. I’m sorry for being like that, but you can’t blame me for having hope, that maybe one person in the world could accept me just the way I am. But I guess, you can’t expect too much.”  
William rose up from the couch, took his jacket, and slowly walked to the door, almost as he wanted to be stopped.  
"I promise to stop bothering you. Just...forget any of this ever happened"  
The tragically ironic echo drummed against Henry's ears. He finally understood.  
"Wait-!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is haaaard. Hopefully next time I will finish this piece of trash for realsies. Meanwhile, enjoy internalized homophobia I guess


	4. Chapter 4

The hand reaching for the door handle froze in place and slowly retracted from its (seemingly) original intent. But other than that, the figure in front of the door remained still, not granting Henry an honor of actually facing him. A tense silence filled the living room, only punctuated by the buzzing ceiling light.  
„Will, please! Just…wait” Henry got up, his legs actively working against him, making him almost trip over one of the many cardboard boxes scattered on the floor. William didn’t move an inch.  
„I’m-so-shit!” His feet hit against the leg of the coffee table, but despite the pain he tried to stand tall „I’m sorry! I don’t what got into me, I shouldn’t get angry with you, It’s not your fault, I should be thankful you’re even here! It’s just…"  
But the person in his doorframe was still frozen, like some mocking statue of unspoken misery. Another figure on the horizon slowly drifting away from him, like his wife and daughter. Henry felt the weight of the universe on his shoulders, draining him of any strength who could have had left, leaving only the overwhelming emptiness. Without even a single thought to hold onto, Henry dropped to his knees, clutching William’s legs as if the material of those black slacks was the proverbial straw a man like him had to grasp. This expression of almost religious penance was enough to make William flinch in surprise.  
„Please don’t leave me” it wasn’t louder than a whisper, a pathetic cry not daring to take more space than a breath „I’m just a drunk idiot, I don’t even know what I’m saying, but I beg you, don’t leave me here. We can work this out, I’ll do anything, I swear, just... don't go away.” His eyes fixated on the dark statue, lit from above only by the faint ceiling light, but almost angelic to his barely functioning imagination.  
If William Afton was a foolish man, he would probably smile and extend his hand to this poor excuse of a human being, while saying some quasi-sanguinic nonsense, that could have been interpreted as something vaguely romantic. But, of course, he was more than aware of how much further he could push this absurd scenario to its full pathos and theatrical possibility. Right now he was an omnipotent figure, a magician tricking a little boy into believing that rabbits can materialize inside of a top hat or that saying words of love actually means something in this aimless world. A poet, forming his ideal lover from the cloth taken from the stars and the gods and the constellations decorating the purple sky of his creation. With that beautifully thespian perspective in mind, he waited until Henry closed his tear-stained eyes, and carefully lowered himself to his level, taking the trembling’s man chin into his hand, a gesture so unnecessary, yet so effective. He then again waited for the other man to hold his breath in order to know that he had his undivided attention.  
„Henry…” he said, rubbing his thumb over Henry’s cheek, who leaned slightly into the touch. „It’s not your fault. But I am relieved you didn’t actually mean those awful things. It seems like there’s another side of you, that you are not yet sure of. We will work through this, I promise you, my dear.”  
The last word sent a small electric current through Henry’s veins. How could have something felt so wrong but so right at the same time?  
„William, can I ask you something?”  
„What is it?”  
„Remember when we were in our business class, and one of those jerks passed around some note, something among the lines „Blanchett and Merriwick are…you know what”, and I said „What a shame if it were true” and „I hope they won’t target us next time, time to find someone else to talk to haha” I laughed very awkwardly, I don’t even know why I laughed, anyway, and then you just took the note and tore it to pieces without saying a word.”  
Wait…what is he even talking about?  
„I always wondered, did you do that because you wanted to spare them the humiliation? Or were you afraid that someone would do the same to you? Did you know them well? I’m not saying that all ehm, Dorothy's friends, is that the term? Should know each other, but I just, thought that maybe, you actually knew I had…those kinds of feelings for you. Oh, God almighty, did I really say it? My father would kill me for that!”  
William wasn’t sure whether there was any rhyme or reason to this incoherent speech, but at least it seemed to had pulled Henry out of the abyss. As long as he could feel his physical presence and feel his shaky breath he knew he had succeeded with his performance. Henry, meanwhile, closed his eyes once again and leaned a little bit forward, so that their foreheads were touching with a bittersweet relief overtaking his face.  
„You know they might kill us, right?”  
„Who are you talking about?”  
„The parents…After all those, well, kidnappings, if they found out that we are both, you know, we wouldn’t get out of this town alive. I’m not saying I think that well, you know what, screw this self-censorship! We know it’s not that we like children in that horrible way, but what does it change? Nobody would listen!” Henry was suddenly shouting „I mean, I don’t know all gay people in the world, but at least I never had those kinds of thoughts! But those parents…they wouldn’t care about this!”  
…  
William actually hasn’t thought about it.  
For some, that would be the moment they would start to second guess their decisions, but fortunately, William excelled both at keeping things a secret from the world and never questioning his own ideas. Those two qualities accounted for about 70% of his successes in life.  
„Who said they have to know about anything?” William finally stood up and helped Henry back to the couch. „I think we can keep it a secret. What do you think?”  
„I think it will be a good arrangement. But I swear I will shot myself if anyone finds out”  
„Don’t say that!” William flinched slightly at the thought of that.  
„Come on, I’m just joking.” Henry smiled hazily and put his head on William’s shoulder. ”Please, don’t leave me.”  
„As long as you don’t do it first”  
Henry raised his head a little bit and looked William deep in the eye.  
„On second thought-” his face inched to his partner’s as he put his hands on his shoulders „-promises are pretty fucking useless”  
Without giving the other man time to take in those words, Henry pulled him closer with some completely unexpected strength. This time he decided to take the lead, to finally feel in control, not stifled by those judgmental eyes following his every unholy thought. For the first time in his life he just wanted to become the worst possible outcome, the dreaded sinner just so he could finally feel alive. His lips found solace on the other man's mouth, wordlessly singing his manifesto against the world, against the wretched society, and finally against every idiot who ever made fun of him for being a pushover and not talking enough or talking too much, who the hell even cared at this moment of a complete unashamed singularity of the cluster that was his mind. _What a shame that in the grand scheme of things none of it was true. _  
Meanwhile, William, despite being more or less ambivalent towards physical affections, decided that for his own safety he should just let Henry do what he wanted to. Of course, an intellectual like him would never be overtaken by such instinctive urges. So his hands wandered very pragmatically around Henry's chest, and only by a scientific miscalculation started unbuttoning that terribly worn-out flannel shirt. Henry paused, pulling away from the kiss, and looked at the man in front of him questioningly.  
"Have you ever, you know... done it?" There was a slight edge of panic in his voice.  
"No" Well, at least it wasn't a lie, was it?  
"So...do you want to..."  
William couldn't help but mentally roll his eyes at such childish wording his partner was using, but he was way too deep at this point to back out completely, _so yeah, sure, why the hell not-_  
\----------------------------------------------  
It was way too early in the morning. The sun coming through the blinds cast a prison bar-like pattern onto the floor of his living room. Henry somehow managed to acknowledge this detail before even realizing that he was laying in some very unpractical pose on his couch instead of his bed. Another moment and felt a familiar arm embracing him tightly. For some reason he didn't feel surprised at all when he saw William spread on the other side of the couch. Even in his sleep he looked so thoughtful...  
Henry gently wiggled out of his position and looked around. They must have been drinking a lot. That explains his terrible headache, but that sometimes happens. There was even a broken beer bottle on the floor. Next to it laid his poor glasses, dirty from oil and dust. He took them in his hand and with slight grief realized that they were actually cracked.  
This is the point when we should leave Henry before he realizes why it happened.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my something, I'm finally done with this thing. So now some closing thoughts about my interpretation, because I'm aware it can cause some misunderstandings:  
> In this headcanon, Henry is actually bisexual but has been very repressed his whole life, and probably wasn't even aware that such term exists. So yeah, he had real feelings for his wife, and maybe some other women in his life, but he can't really reconcile it with his feelings for other man.  
> William's sexuality is...actually completely irrelevant. I don't think he cares enough about anyone to call it even platonic love.  
> In my mind it kinda works like Narcissus- he's just too arrogant and self-centered.  
> My interpretation of his character is based mostly on characteristics that he exhibits in all books and games (other than that he's not very consistent honestly), mainly that he is very theatrical, confident in himself and lacks any. self. awareness. I mean really, he takes himself too seriously, o the point of being hilarious xd Also, despite him being very skilled and intelligent, he seems to make some rather absurd decisions and solves his problems in the most needlessly convoluted way imaginable. Soo basically decided to make him have this overly dramatic internal monologue in which he tries to logic his way out of any situation using his outlandish reasoning, reassuring himself that he's always right.  
> The whole story is really about lack of understanding and communication, hence the randomly switching perspectives of the 3rd person narrator. I just thought to would be interesting.  
> Also, the glasses are symbolic. I won't tell what they symbolize but I think it's obvious enough.  
> Ok, I guess that's all, bye

**Author's Note:**

> Again, why do those two never talk to each other in canon? Their relationship is so bare-bones I can't even. Scott, give us the angst, we need it


End file.
